Why January 1 sucks.

I don't know the exact reason myself. Actually I've only greeted four people a happy new year. <- irrelevant. Maybe i expected something to happen but it didn't. Actually it did happen only it was not as I thought it will be. Too much for expectations. (Here I go again with my hallucinations. HINT: expectations=hallucinations) Then the worst part is I don't want to do it today (January 1) because I just don't feel like it, I lost my gusto for it for starters, but someone requested so I obliged.

Now the question is, should I let this hallucination devour me again? I know it's over even before it started. I mean there's no point cos I know it leads me nowhere. But, if I didn't take a risk (I call it a risk but I'm enjoying while I'm at it) then I wouldn't know how it will turn out if I didn't try. But (another but) I've been there before so many times I've memorized the direction and I always end up at the same finish line. But (so many buts!) what if this time it's different? Wah! Should I give myself another episode of false hope? Ugh. I really don't know.

1st of January 2011 simply sucks. What a way to start a new year.